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Priceless Love, Pricey Weddings

The Golden Week of National Day is not just for travelling and sightseeing. Many young lovers opt to knot the nuptial tie at this prime time of the year.

In Beijing, and in theory, a man and a woman become legally married when they pay 9 yuan (US$1.08) to the marriage registry after their documents - ID cards, certificates of their (non) marital status and the pre-marital medical check-up reports - are checked and accepted.

But seldom does the process stop at that.

For most people, marriage does not simply mean getting the two certificates from the civil affairs office.

Setting up a family is just like opening a new company: It takes more than just love to get it started. One needs money - a bundle of it - to launch the new business.

The popular saying goes that love is priceless, but weddings are pricey.

"It is a long, exciting journey," says Liu, who declined to be fully named. "But at times you will think it's a drag."

Liu, 25, a Beijing policeman, recently married Tan, 23, an editor with a Beijing-based magazine.

Theirs was a typical Beijing marriage.

For most young couples, the journey begins the day they make up their mind to become man and wife.

The biggest concern - and worry to many - is money.

Frequently, they have to ask themselves two questions: How much can they afford? How can they spend it wisely?

Generally speaking, the budget for getting married includes money for household appliances and daily necessities, movie star-style wedding photos, a hectic wedding ceremony and a lavish wedding banquet.

Then add to the list the trips to well-known tourist attractions by air.

And in most cases they will have to decorate their house - if they have a house they can call their own.

All this will add up to at least 100,000 yuan (US$12,000). And the figure can even be higher for newlyweds in places like Guangzhou, Shenzhen and Shanghai.

"We booked 60 tables - each for 10 - in advance, to entertain guests from both families. But on the day we ended up adding another 12 tables," said Liu, the policeman. "It cost about 500 yuan (US$60) for each table, everything included."

Before the ceremony they had bought everything they might need for married life, including an automatic washing machine, a TV set, a hi-fi stereo system and a computer.

To buy these items, the two plus four lineup - the younger couple and the older couples - searched the city's department stores and exclusive retailers and even visited other cities.

Liu added that he paid 2,000 yuan (US$241) to hire a limousine - the modern version of a bridal sedan chair - to pick up his bride on the special day. In a country where bicycles are still the major means of transportation for many people, the more deluxe the car is, the more respect one expects to receive.

Tan, Liu's bride, said they paid 3,000 yuan (US$361) for 45 wedding photos - some are enlarged to 35 inches and framed - and 1,550 yuan (US$187) as the rental fee for three wedding dresses, including a white one with a long train.

"It was my childhood dream to wear such a gown on my wedding day," says Tan. "My guests said I was especially beautiful in that gown, although I wore it for only 10 or 20 minutes."

But Tan admitted that they had rented more than they really needed. In retrospect, they thought they had wasted some money.

Mr Shen and Miss Li, another couple, spent four days in Hong Kong, one day in Macao and three days in Dalian after their wedding ceremony, and they spent more than 20,000 yuan (US$2,410) for the food, hotel accommodation and air fare.

Unlike other couples who visit Hong Kong, Shen and Li did not shop in the "shoppers' paradise," as the island is sometimes dubbed in mainland media.

Such a budget is obviously big if the two young people are just ordinary company employees or civil servants.

"So the financial aid from our families is very important and helpful," said Liu.

Usually the bill is shared by the older generations - the parents-in-law and other loving relatives. "We spent about 60,000 yuan (US$7,229) decorating our 70-odd-square-metre house - each side paying half the bill, and I paid over 20,000 yuan (US$2,410) for my jewellery, bags and shoes," said Li, whose parents run a restaurant in Beijing.

In the past, there were unwritten rules about which side would prepare what for the wedding. But nowadays people are not as fastidious about the rules as they used to be. The parents just buy whatever they think is fit whenever they have the opportunity during the preparations. This is true especially when both the bride and bridegroom are from single-child families - the fruit of China's family planning policy launched in 1970s.

The only source of income in the process is that relatives, friends and colleagues of the newlyweds and the parents-in-laws usually give money as a wedding gift. Currently 100 yuan (US$12) is the minimum in Beijing, and there is no ceiling.

(China Daily 09/12/2001)

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E-mail: webmaster@china.org.cn Tel: 86-10-68996214/15/16
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